Supporting Someone’s Mental Health: How to Be There for Loved Ones
When we notice a friend, family member, or acquaintance struggling emotionally, it can be difficult to know how to help. Whether they’ve confided in you about feeling overwhelmed, or you’ve observed changes in their behavior, such as stress, sadness, or social withdrawal, it’s natural to feel uncertain about how to approach them. While it may feel awkward to address these concerns, it’s important to reach out. Showing care can make a significant difference in their mental health journey. Here are some compassionate steps you can take to support them:
Recognize the Signs of Struggling Mental Health
Every person’s experience with mental health is unique, but certain symptoms are commonly observed when someone is facing challenges. Keep an eye out for:
- Difficulty sleeping or excessive sleeping
- Changes in appetite (either overeating or not eating)
- Increased irritability or mood swings
- Frequent sadness or crying
- Unexplained physical pain
- Loss of interest in daily activities (e.g., work, school, hobbies)
- Avoidance of social interactions or isolation
- Sudden behavioral shifts (e.g., being unusually quiet or overly energetic)
- Heightened anxiety or fear about previously manageable situations
- Excessive substance use or engaging in risky behaviors
If you notice these or other significant changes, it's important to approach the situation with care. Even if the signs seem mild, they can indicate deeper emotional struggles that may benefit from support.
Ask Them How They’re Doing
Starting a conversation about mental health can feel intimidating, but it's a crucial first step. Approach them gently, expressing your concern in a non-judgmental way. You can say something like, "I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed a bit off lately, and I just wanted to check in with you. How are you feeling?" By keeping the conversation open and non-critical, you create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
If you suspect they might be dealing with depression or even thoughts of suicide, it’s okay to ask directly. You might say, "I’m really concerned about you. Have you had any thoughts of hurting yourself?" Contrary to some misconceptions, asking about suicide won’t plant the idea in their mind—it can give them the opportunity to express their feelings and seek help. Make sure to offer your full attention and be patient. Silence during these conversations is natural and important—allow them time to open up without rushing them.
Be a Compassionate Listener
Sometimes, the best way to support someone is simply by listening. Let your loved one express what they’re feeling without interrupting or offering solutions. It can be tempting to share your own experiences or offer advice, but be mindful that they may just want someone who will listen without judgment. This shows them that they’re not alone, and that you are there to support them in their own way.
Focus on validating their feelings and providing a space for them to talk freely. If they ask for advice or want to hear your perspective, feel free to share, but remember that your primary role is to listen with empathy and respect.
Offer Ongoing Support
If your friend or loved one is working on a plan to improve their mental health—whether that’s reducing substance use, seeking therapy, or making other changes—support their efforts in practical ways. For example, you could offer to accompany them to therapy appointments or invite them to participate in healthy activities that align with their goals, like going for walks or attending a fitness class together.
It's also important to keep them accountable without being overbearing. Gently remind them of commitments they’ve made, but also show understanding if they need space or struggle along the way. Everyone has good days and bad days, so offer encouragement and celebrate their progress, no matter how small.
Know When to Seek Professional Help
While offering support is invaluable, sometimes the best way you can help is by encouraging them to seek professional assistance. If their symptoms persist or worsen, gently suggest that they reach out to a therapist or counselor. Mental health professionals are trained to help individuals navigate emotional difficulties and develop effective coping strategies. Remember, seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness, but an important step toward healing.
In case of a mental health crisis, there are helplines available in your area, such as:
- Edmonton: The Crisis Centre at 780-482-HELP (4357)
- Greater Edmonton Region: Rural Distress Line at 1-800-232-7288
- Calgary: 403-266-HELP (4357)
If the situation is an emergency, don’t hesitate to call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. It’s always better to act swiftly when safety is at risk.
Take Care of Yourself
Supporting someone with mental health challenges can be emotionally draining. Just as with the airplane oxygen mask analogy—put on your own mask before assisting others—it’s essential to prioritize your own mental health. Ensure that you’re finding ways to manage your own stress and emotional needs during this time. Consider seeking support from a therapist if you’re finding it challenging to cope with the situation. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a more effective support to others without neglecting your own well-being.
Encouraging Conversations on Mental Health
It can be intimidating to bring up the topic of mental health with someone, as there’s often stigma surrounding it. But asking someone how they’re truly feeling can be a powerful act of care. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and by showing empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen, you can help break down barriers and support your loved one through their struggles. Remember, your genuine concern and willingness to engage can make all the difference in their healing process.