Counselling for the person doing the supporting: a private place to sort through your own worries, limits, and next steps while someone you care about is struggling. Registered Psychologists regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). Psychologists, social workers regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW), counsellors certified by the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA), and supervised student therapists at a range of fees. In-person sessions in Edmonton and St. Albert, and virtual sessions across Alberta.

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You Might Be Wondering Whether Counselling for Supporting Someone Is Right for You

You may be wondering whether you should be the one asking for help when someone else is the person who is struggling. It can feel selfish, or beside the point, to book counselling for yourself while a partner, parent, child, or friend is going through something harder. You might also doubt that your stress counts, since nothing has happened to you directly.

Maybe you replay conversations late at night, wondering if you said the wrong thing. Maybe you check your phone more than you used to, waiting for a reply that tells you they are okay. Or you notice a flash of frustration with someone you love, followed quickly by guilt for feeling it at all.

These reactions make sense when you care about someone and cannot fix what they are going through. They are common responses to a hard and often uncertain situation. They do not mean you are failing the person you support, and they do not mean something is wrong with you.

If you are trying to work out whether talking with someone could help, you may wish to read on and see what this kind of support involves. Some readers are ready to book. Others are gathering information for someone else, or still deciding whether any of this applies to them. If you or the person you support is not safe right now, the crisis resources below are the place to start.

Who This Counselling May Help

This service may be a good fit if you:

• care about a partner, family member, friend, or co-worker who seems to be having a hard time with their mental health
• want help working out what to say, how to listen, or how much to take on
• find it hard to set or keep boundaries with someone you care about
• feel worn down, worried, or guilty and want a place to talk about your own reactions
• are a parent or caregiver wondering how to support a child or teen
• want to think through when and how to encourage professional, medical, or community support

This service may not be the right fit if:

• you or someone else is in immediate danger. Please use the crisis resources below.
• you are looking for a diagnosis or formal assessment of the person you support. Counselling for you cannot provide one. Psychological assessments are a separate service and would involve that person directly.
• you need legal, custody, or forensic help, such as a report for court. These needs are outside this counselling service.
• you are hoping a therapist can make the person you support change, or monitor them for you. Counselling can support you, but it cannot control another person's choices.

If you are gathering information for someone else, Canadian public education resources may also be useful, such as a brochure on supporting a loved one (Canadian Mental Health Association [CMHA], n.d.) and a page on promoting positive mental health (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], n.d.).

If Someone Is Not Safe Right Now

Counselling appointments are not set up to respond to emergencies. If you believe someone may be in immediate danger, needs urgent medical care, or cannot be kept safe, contact emergency or crisis services now.

• Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.
• Alberta Mental Health Help Line: 1-877-303-2642 (24/7, toll-free)
• 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: call or text 988 (24/7)
• Family Violence Info Line (Alberta): 310-1818 (24/7, toll-free), if you feel unsafe at home or are worried about violence in a relationship

Respecting someone's privacy matters, and so does their safety. If a person has told you something in confidence that makes you worried they are in immediate danger, getting urgent help can come before keeping that confidence.

Wholesome Psychology is not an emergency or crisis service.

What Counselling for Supporters Is and Is Not

This is individual counselling for you, the person offering support. Sessions focus on your experience: your worries, your reactions, how you communicate, and what you can realistically take on. Counselling may provide a structured space to explore communication, boundaries, and support options. It does not ask you to diagnose anyone or to take responsibility for another adult's choices, care, or recovery.

Counselling for supporters is not:

• a crisis or emergency service
• a legal service, or an investigation into what is happening in the other person's life
• an assessment or diagnosis of the person you support. A therapist cannot assess, diagnose, or treat someone who is not their client.
• a way to make another person seek help or change

You set the pace. You decide what to talk about, how much detail to share, and when to slow down. Your therapist may offer ideas and questions, but the direction of the work stays with you.

What you say in sessions is kept confidential, with some legal limits that your therapist will explain in your first session. The Confidentiality and Privacy section below covers this in more detail.

If the person you support wants counselling of their own, they can book separately. Depending on your situation, you may also want to look at family caregiver stress counselling, family issues counselling, couples counselling, or support for compassion fatigue.

This page offers general information. It is not a substitute for emergency care, medical care, or advice about your own situation.

Signs Supporting Someone May Be Affecting You

Supporting someone can affect you in ways that are easy to miss, because your attention is on them. You might recognize some of these patterns:

• feeling on alert much of the time, waiting for the next phone call or hard conversation
• having trouble switching off at night, even when you are tired
• feeling guilty when you rest, see friends, or do something just for yourself
• second-guessing what you say, or holding back your own feelings so you do not upset them
• frustration, resentment, or sadness toward someone you love that catches you off guard
• pulling back from friends or activities because explaining the situation feels like too much
• tension in your body, headaches, or feeling run down more often than usual
• disagreements with other family members about what should be done
• feeling unsure where caring ends and taking over begins

These are common reactions to a demanding situation, not signs of weakness or a lack of love. They do not mean something is permanently wrong with you. People who support someone else may also benefit from space to look at their own wellbeing and limits, and counselling is one place to do that.

How Counselling Works at Wholesome Psychology

• Find your therapist. You can use the Match with a Therapist tool or read clinician profiles on Our Therapists. If you would like help choosing, our admin team can talk through options with you at 780-904-4880.
• Book your first session. In the first session, your therapist will go over confidentiality and consent, ask what has been happening, and talk with you about what you hope to get from counselling. You can ask questions at any point, including whether this feels like the right fit.
• Build your plan together. You and your therapist set goals that matter to you. For one person, that might be getting through hard conversations. For another, it might be finding limits they can keep, or getting some rest back into their week.
• Ongoing sessions. Sessions are 50 minutes. Many people meet weekly or every two weeks, and you can adjust this as your needs change.
• Progress check-ins. Your therapist will check in regularly about how things are going. The plan can change if your situation or goals change.

There is no fixed number of sessions. Counselling is a collaboration, and your view of what is helping matters at every stage. You can learn more on our Getting Started with Therapy page.

Evidence and Approaches

Research on counselling specifically for people who support someone else's mental health is limited in the sources reviewed for this page. For that reason, this section does not describe specific therapy methods or claim how well they work. Instead, it summarizes what the available sources cover and where they fall short. Your therapist can talk with you about the approach they use and why.

Support for the Supporter's Own Needs

What it helps with: Recognizing that people in a support role can have their own stress, limits, and needs.

Evidence summary: Clinical guidance on supporting adult carers has been published in the United Kingdom (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence [NICE], n.d.). A Canadian fact sheet addresses caregiver stress (Canadian Psychological Association [CPA], n.d.). Both reflect a recognition that people who support others may need support themselves.

Limitations: The full content of these documents was not available for this page, so no specific recommendations are drawn from them. NICE guidance is written for the UK health system.

Social Support

What it helps with: Having people you can depend on during difficult times.

Evidence summary: A Statistics Canada report looked at whether seniors living in private households had people they could depend on during COVID-19 physical distancing, and described social-support systems as continuing to play an important role (Statistics Canada, 2020). It offers Canadian context for why connection matters, but it did not test any form of counselling.

Limitations: The report focused on seniors early in the COVID-19 pandemic and was published in 2020. It should not be read as current data or applied to every situation.

Helping-Skills Education

What it helps with: Programs of this kind are designed to build knowledge about mental health and confidence in offering initial help to someone who is struggling.

Evidence summary: A systematic review and meta-analysis published in PLOS One looked at the effects of Mental Health First Aid training on knowledge, stigma, and helping behaviour (PLOS One, n.d.). The findings of that review were not available for this page, so we do not describe how well this training works.

Limitations: This kind of training is education, not counselling or treatment. Taking a course is not a requirement for supporting someone well.

What Results to Expect

Counselling may help you feel clearer about what you can offer and what you cannot. Some people notice shifts within a few months, such as feeling steadier or more settled about their limits. Others find longer-term support more useful, especially when the situation keeps changing.

Progress is rarely a straight line. A good week can be followed by a hard one, especially if the person you support has a setback. A harder stretch is not a sign that you have done something wrong.

Outcomes vary. They can depend on:

• what the person you support is going through, and how that changes over time
• your own circumstances, such as work, health, and other caregiving
• the support available to you and to them
• the fit between you and your therapist

No therapy can guarantee outcomes, and counselling for you cannot change another person's choices or mental health. Therapeutic fit matters. If it does not feel right, you can ask to change therapists or try a different approach at any time.

Confidentiality and Privacy

What you share in counselling is confidential. Your therapist will not tell the person you support what you discuss without your consent. In the same way, a therapist cannot share another person's private health or therapy information with you without that person's consent, unless another legal or ethical exception applies.

Psychologists at Wholesome Psychology are regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). They follow CAP's Standards of Practice and the Canadian Code of Ethics for Psychologists published by the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA). Registered Social Workers are regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW).

Two Alberta laws are most relevant to your information. The Personal Information Protection Act (PIPA) generally applies to private clinics and sets rules for how personal information is collected, used, disclosed, and kept. The Health Information Act (HIA) governs health information held by health custodians, such as Alberta Health Services, and applies to psychologists when they work for or are contracted by a custodian.

There are some situations where a therapist may be required or permitted to share information without your consent:

• when there is a risk of serious harm to you or someone else
• when there is reason to suspect a child is being abused or neglected, which must be reported under Alberta law
• when a court orders the release of information

Your therapist will explain these limits clearly in your first session. You are welcome to ask questions about privacy, including how records are stored and who can see them, before you share anything personal.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to describe what is happening with the person I support in detail?

No. You decide how much to share and when. You might start with how the situation is affecting you right now, such as your sleep, your stress, or a conversation you are dreading, rather than a full history. You can also leave out identifying details about the other person if that feels more respectful to them.

Is what I share kept private?

Yes, with some legal limits. These include a risk of serious harm, suspected abuse or neglect of a child, and court orders. Your therapist will go over these in your first session, and the Confidentiality and Privacy section above has more detail. Outside of those limits, what you discuss is not shared with the person you support unless you agree.

How many sessions will I need?

There is no set number. Some people come for a short stretch to work through a specific situation or decision. Others prefer ongoing support while things are still changing. Your therapist will review progress with you regularly, and you can decide together whether to continue, change how often you meet, or take a break.

What if the therapist is not the right fit?

Fit matters, and it is reasonable to say so. Our admin team can help you find a different clinician, or you can use the Match with a Therapist tool again. New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

Can I have sessions online?

Yes. Virtual sessions are available anywhere in Alberta. The same confidentiality standards apply, and your therapist can talk with you about finding a private space for sessions.

Can I get counselling if the person I support does not want help?

Yes. Individual counselling focuses on you, so the other person does not need to attend or agree. Your sessions can cover how you respond when they do not want to talk about it, and what you need in the meantime.

Can the person I support come to a session with me?

Joint or family sessions may be possible when everyone involved agrees and the format suits your goals. Your therapist can talk through whether it makes sense. If the person you support would like counselling of their own, they can book separately, and their sessions are confidential too.

What if I do not feel safe because of how the person is acting?

Your safety matters as well. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The Family Violence Info Line (310-1818) is available 24/7 if you feel unsafe at home. Counselling can be a place to think about safety over time, but it does not replace emergency help.

Meet Your Clinicians

Wholesome Psychology has clinicians with different credentials and fees: Registered Psychologists (including senior psychologists listed as Specialists), Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Canadian Certified Counsellors, Mental Health Therapists, and Student Therapists. All psychologists are registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Registered Provisional Psychologists practise under the supervision of a senior registered psychologist, and Student Therapists are master's-level practicum students who work under supervision.

Many of our clinicians work with family members, partners, and caregivers who are supporting someone through a hard time. You can read about each clinician's training and areas of focus on Our Therapists, use the Match with a Therapist tool, or call 780-904-4880 for help choosing.

Supporting a Child or Teen

If the person you are worried about is your child or teenager, Wholesome Psychology also offers counselling for children, adolescents, and young people. Therapists who work with younger clients use approaches suited to the young person's age and stage. They also work with parents and caregivers, who are an important part of a young person's support at home.

You can also come on your own to talk about how to support your child, even if they are not ready to see someone. You may wish to explore child and youth counselling, teen mental health counselling, or parenting support.

When You Are Ready to Talk It Through

If you would like to speak with someone, you can take the next step in whichever way feels easiest:

• Book online through our booking system
• Use Match with a Therapist to find a clinician who suits you
• Call our admin team at 780-904-4880
• Email info@wholesomepsychology.ca
• Read Getting Started with Therapy to see what to expect

Starting the conversation is enough.

New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

References

• Canadian Mental Health Association. (n.d.). Supporting loved one [Brochure].
• Canadian Psychological Association. (n.d.). Caregiver stress [Fact sheet].
• National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (n.d.). Supporting adult carers.
• PLOS One. (n.d.). Systematic review and meta-analysis of Mental Health First Aid training: Effects on knowledge, stigma, and helping behaviour. PLOS One.
• Public Health Agency of Canada. (n.d.). Promoting positive mental health.
• Statistics Canada. (2020, April 30). COVID-19 and social support for seniors: Do seniors have people they can depend on during difficult times?