Supporting Someone Who is Grieving

Supporting someone who is grieving or struggling with their mental health can be an emotional and challenging experience. Watching a loved one go through pain is never easy, especially when you’re unsure of how best to help. It can be difficult to know what to do or say, particularly if you haven’t experienced the same type of grief or distress they are facing. However, one of the most important ways you can provide support is simply by being there for them. This is a time to offer presence, not necessarily solutions. Sitting alongside them as they cry, or just listening to them share their feelings, can be incredibly comforting. Letting your loved one know you’re there for them—without judgment—is a powerful act of compassion.

How to Provide Support

Sometimes, the most meaningful support you can offer is to be present without trying to fix everything. Grief is a personal journey, and your loved one may need space to process their emotions in their own way and at their own pace. Here are some helpful tips from the Canadian Mental Health Association when supporting someone who is grieving:

• Honor their process: Understand that grief is unique to each person. Your loved one may express their pain in ways that are different from your expectations or past experiences.
• Ask what they need: Directly offer your support by asking them what they need, whether it's help with day-to-day tasks or just someone to talk to. Let them know you're there when they're ready.
• Talk about the loss: While many people avoid discussing the loss, many grieving individuals find comfort in sharing memories and stories about their loved one.
• Acknowledge the broader impact: Grief often brings more than sadness; it can bring fear, stress, or even concerns about financial stability. Acknowledge that these feelings may arise, and provide space to discuss them.
• Invite them to social activities: Even if they decline, continue to invite your loved one to join in on social gatherings. It helps them feel included and not isolated.
• Encourage professional support: If the grief is overwhelming, gently encourage them to seek professional help. Therapy or counseling can offer a space for healing and coping.
• Care for yourself: Supporting someone in grief can be emotionally taxing. Be sure to check in with yourself and seek support when you need it.

Signs of Struggling Mental Health

Grief and mental health struggles can manifest in various ways. Each person experiences these challenges differently, but some common signs to be aware of include:

• Denial or confusion about what’s happening.
• Feelings of worthlessness or self-doubt.
• Irritability and difficulty controlling emotions.
• Difficulty concentrating on tasks or making decisions.
• Withdrawal from social interactions.
• Disrupted sleep patterns (insomnia or sleeping too much).
• Fatigue or low energy.
• Mood swings or emotional instability.
• Lack of interest in activities once enjoyed.

If you notice any significant changes in your loved one’s behavior, it's important to act. Grief can be overwhelming, and signs of mental health struggles may need professional intervention.

How You Can Help

Sometimes, the best way to support a grieving person is to simply ask them how they’re doing. It can be hard to initiate this conversation, but it’s crucial. Start by expressing your concern, and let them know you’ve noticed they seem different lately. It's important to avoid making assumptions or offering advice right away. Instead, let them share their feelings at their own pace.

One of the most meaningful things you can do is to listen. Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to hear them without judgment. Silence can be a powerful tool—don’t feel the need to fill every pause with your own words. Just be there to listen, and let them process their emotions in their own time.

It’s also important to avoid the temptation to "fix" their grief. While it may feel natural to offer solutions, the person grieving may just need space to express themselves without receiving advice. Of course, if they ask for guidance or suggestions, feel free to share your thoughts, but remember that the primary role is to be a compassionate listener.

When Professional Help is Needed

At times, despite your best efforts, your loved one may need professional support to navigate their grief. There’s no shame in seeking help from a trained therapist. Just as we would consult a doctor for physical ailments, mental health professionals provide essential support for those struggling with emotional and psychological challenges. If you're concerned about your loved one’s well-being and they are open to professional help, encourage them to reach out to a therapist.

If they are experiencing extreme symptoms and professional support isn’t immediately accessible, consider directing them to local crisis lines:

• Edmonton: The Crisis Centre, 780-482-HELP (4357)
• Greater Edmonton Region: Rural Distress Line, 1-800-232-7288
• Calgary: 403-266-HELP (4357)

If the situation is urgent, don’t hesitate to call 911 or take your loved one to the nearest emergency room. Mental health emergencies are serious and require immediate attention.

Take Care of Yourself

Supporting a grieving friend or family member can be emotionally exhausting. Remember to prioritize your own well-being as well. You may experience stress, worry, or feel burdened by the emotional weight of the situation. It’s essential to recognize when you need help, too. A therapist can offer support in navigating your own emotions and help you manage the challenges of supporting a grieving person without taking on their pain as your own.

Asking someone about their mental health is no different than asking about their physical health. We shouldn't hesitate to express concern for our loved ones' emotional well-being, even if it feels uncomfortable. Having these conversations may feel vulnerable, but it could make all the difference to someone who is struggling. Let them know you care, and be patient as they process their grief. Your support can be a lifeline during this difficult time.

If you or someone you know would like to learn more about counseling support or find a therapist who can assist with grief and mental health challenges, please contact us.