A confidential space to talk about how trying to conceive is affecting closeness, communication, and sex, on your own or with a partner. Registered Psychologists regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW), and counsellors certified by the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) on the team. In-person sessions in Edmonton and St. Albert. Virtual sessions across Alberta.

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You Might Be Wondering Whether Relationship Counselling While Trying to Conceive Is Right for You

You may be wondering whether this even counts as a reason to talk to someone. Maybe you and your partner want the same thing, and nothing has gone badly wrong between you. It can feel easier to tell yourself the strain will fade once you are pregnant. Talking about it now might seem like it would only make it bigger.

Still, something may feel different. Sex might have started to follow a calendar more than a feeling. One of you may want to talk through every test and appointment while the other goes quiet. You might notice you reach for each other less on the days that do not seem to count.

Trying to conceive can bring hope and uncertainty into the same stretch of time. Some people notice that it changes how timing, privacy, closeness, or conversation feel in their relationship. That does not mean your relationship is failing or that something is wrong with either of you. It means you are carrying something that matters a great deal.

If you are trying to make sense of what has shifted, and whether talking with someone could help, you may wish to read on. The sections below describe what this counselling involves, what it does not do, and how to begin if and when you decide to.

Who We Help

People come to this kind of counselling from many directions. Trying to conceive can involve different relationship structures, sexual orientations, gender identities, cultural backgrounds, reproductive histories, and paths to parenthood.

This Counselling May Be a Good Fit If You Are

• Trying to conceive and noticing changes in closeness, communication, or sex
• A couple who wants a shared place to slow down conversations that keep stalling, alongside or instead of general couples counselling
• One partner who would like to talk privately first, whether or not the other partner joins later
• Receiving care from a physician or fertility clinic and finding that appointments or decisions are affecting your relationship, which our page on mental health and fertility also discusses
• Building a family through a path that does not follow the usual script, including LGBTQ2S+ individuals and couples
• Living with a past pregnancy loss or a long stretch of trying, and seeing it show up in your relationship (see also perinatal loss counselling)
• Earlier in the process and thinking about how you want to approach planning parenthood together

If you are reading this for a partner or someone close to you, you are welcome to share this page or call the admin team with general questions. A partner who is unsure about counselling does not have to attend. The person who wants support can come on their own.

The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) also publishes service-referral information to help people find community mental health support (CMHA, n.d.).

This Counselling May Not Be the Right Fit If You Need

• Immediate help in a crisis or a safety emergency. Please use the crisis resources below.
• Medical answers about fertility testing, timing, medications, supplements, or procedures. These belong with your physician, nurse practitioner, or fertility clinic.
• A psychological assessment, or a report for legal, court, or insurance purposes. These needs are outside this counselling service. Psychological assessments are a separate service.
• Joint sessions with a partner you feel afraid of, or who pressures you about sex or pregnancy. You can ask for individual sessions instead, and the Family Violence Info Line below is available any time.

If You Need Help Right Now

Counselling sessions are booked in advance and are not set up to respond to emergencies. If you or someone else is in danger or needs urgent support, please contact one of these services:

• 911, or go to the nearest emergency department, for immediate danger
• 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline: call or text 9-8-8, anywhere in Canada
• Alberta Mental Health Help Line: 1-877-303-2642 (24/7)
• Family Violence Info Line (Alberta): 310-1818 (24/7, toll-free)

Wholesome Psychology is not an emergency or crisis service.

What This Counselling Is, and What It Is Not

This is psychological counselling for the relationship, communication, intimacy, and emotional side of trying to conceive. You can come on your own or with a partner. Counselling can provide a structured space to talk about what each of you is noticing, clarify what you want, and practise new ways of talking about hard things.

Sessions may explore communication, emotional connection, consent, boundaries, differing needs, and expectations around intimacy. You and your therapist choose the focus together. You set the pace, and you decide what to share and when.

This counselling is not:

• Medical fertility assessment or treatment. Fertility concerns often involve their own medical assessment and treatment pathway (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence [NICE], n.d.).
• A psychological assessment or a diagnosis. Psychological assessments are a separate service.
• A legal service, an investigative process, or crisis intervention.
• A place where someone else makes your medical decisions for you.

Our clinicians work within the scope of practice set by their regulatory bodies. They do not give medical advice, prescribe medication, or recommend fertility treatments. If something you raise sits outside counselling, your therapist can talk with you about who may be better placed to help.

The time before pregnancy is also recognized as part of health care in Canada. The Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC, n.d.) describes preconception as a period of care that involves planning and support. Statistics Canada (2024) reports on fertility in Canada from 1921 to 2022, and the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA, n.d.) addresses relationship distress in its public information. None of these sources look at intimacy while trying to conceive directly, so they are offered here as background only.

What you share is confidential, with some legal limits. Those limits are explained in the Confidentiality and Privacy section below and again in your first session.

Signs Trying to Conceive May Be Affecting Your Relationship or Intimacy

Some people notice changes like these. You may recognize one or two, several, or none that fit exactly.

• Sex has started to feel scheduled, more like a task tied to a calendar or an app than a way of being close
• Feeling pressure to be "in the mood" on certain days, then relief or guilt when those days pass
• Conversations about trying that circle back to the same place, or that you avoid because they end in tension or silence
• One of you wants to talk things through often, while the other copes through quiet or practical tasks
• Touch and affection feeling less easy outside of planned times
• Disagreeing about what to tell family, friends, or coworkers, or how to answer when people ask
• Finding baby showers, pregnancy announcements, or family gatherings harder than you expected
• Keeping disappointment to yourself, even from your partner, so you do not add to their load
• Noticing that desire, comfort, or feelings about consent have shifted, and not knowing how to bring it up

None of this means something is permanently wrong with you or your relationship. These are understandable human reactions when hope, pressure, and uncertainty arrive at the same time. Structured support can give you a place to look at these patterns at a pace that feels manageable. If the fertility process itself is weighing on you, our page on fertility struggles may also be relevant, and sexuality and intimacy therapy covers intimacy concerns more broadly.

How Counselling Works Here

• Find your therapist. Use the Match with a Therapist tool or browse Our Therapists to read about each clinician's focus. You can also call the admin team at 780-904-4880 for help choosing.
• Book your first session. Your first session includes a discussion of consent, confidentiality, and your goals. If you attend with a partner, your therapist will also explain how information shared individually is handled in couples work, since these practices can vary by clinician. You can ask questions before sharing anything personal.
• Build your plan together. You and your therapist agree on what to focus on, whether that is communication, intimacy, coping with uncertainty, or something else. Your voice shapes the plan.
• Ongoing sessions. Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly or every two weeks, and the schedule can be adjusted. People may come on their own, together, or at different points in the process.
• Progress check-ins. Your therapist reviews how things are going with you regularly. The plan can change as your needs change.

There is no fixed number of sessions. Counselling is collaborative, and you can raise concerns about the pace or focus at any point. For more on what to expect, see Getting Started with Therapy.

Evidence and Approaches

The research gathered for this page is limited. We summarize only what the available sources support. Other approaches your therapist may use are not described here because the evidence gathered for this page does not cover them, and your therapist can explain the approach they use and why.

Counselling Interventions for Couples Facing Fertility Challenges

What it helps with: This type of counselling aims to address strain in communication, closeness, and sexual satisfaction for couples dealing with fertility concerns.

Evidence summary: A systematic review and meta-analysis has examined infertility-counselling interventions in relation to marital and sexual satisfaction in couples experiencing infertility ("Effect of Infertility Counseling Interventions," n.d.). The material available for this page does not report effect sizes, certainty ratings, or how consistent any changes were, so it cannot show how much counselling helps.

Limitations: The review focused on couples experiencing infertility, which may not reflect everyone trying to conceive. Outcomes vary, and the available material does not establish a predictable result for any person or relationship.

What Results to Expect

Change in counselling is rarely a straight line. One week a conversation might go better than it has in months. The next, an appointment or a negative test might bring the old tension back. That does not necessarily mean counselling is not working.

Some people notice shifts within a few months. Others find longer-term work more useful. What happens depends on many things, including your circumstances, what is happening medically, how each person in the relationship is doing, and the fit with your therapist.

No counselling can guarantee an outcome. It cannot promise to restore intimacy, resolve every disagreement, or change whether or when a pregnancy happens.

Fit matters. If your therapist or their approach does not feel right, you can ask to change, and the admin team can help you find someone else.

Confidentiality and Privacy

What you share in counselling is confidential. Our psychologists are regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists and follow the Canadian Psychological Association's Canadian Code of Ethics for Psychologists. Other clinicians follow the ethical standards of their own professions.

Two Alberta privacy laws are relevant. The Personal Information Protection Act (PIPA) generally governs how private clinics like ours collect, use, and disclose personal information. The Health Information Act (HIA) governs health information held by health custodians, such as Alberta Health Services and physicians. It may apply to records your doctor or fertility clinic holds. We share information with your medical providers only with your consent, except where the law requires otherwise.

There are limits to confidentiality. Your clinician may need to share information without your consent when:

• There is a risk of serious harm to you or to someone else
• There is suspected abuse or neglect of a child, which must be reported under Alberta law
• A court order requires records to be released

In couples counselling, more than one person's information is involved. Your therapist will explain how individual disclosures and shared records are handled before joint work begins.

Your clinician will explain these limits clearly in your first session. You are welcome to ask questions about privacy, records, or virtual sessions before you share anything personal.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will I have to talk about our sex life, or what has happened, in detail?

No. You decide what to share and how much. You can start with what is happening now, such as how conversations have been going, rather than detailed history or specifics about sex. Your therapist will follow your pace, and you can say you are not ready to talk about something at any point.

Is what I share kept private?

Yes, with some legal limits. Your information is protected under Alberta privacy law, including PIPA, and under your clinician's professional standards. Limits include a risk of serious harm, suspected abuse or neglect of a child, and court orders. In couples work, your therapist will explain how individual disclosures are handled. The Confidentiality and Privacy section above has more detail.

How many sessions will we need?

There is no set number. Some people find a shorter stretch of focused sessions useful, while others prefer longer-term support. It depends on your goals and circumstances. Your therapist will review progress with you regularly, so you can decide together whether to continue, change focus, or pause.

What if the therapist is not the right fit?

Fit matters, and it is reasonable to want a different match. You can tell your therapist directly, or contact the admin team at 780-904-4880 and they can help you find another clinician. New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

Can we have sessions online?

Yes. Virtual sessions are available across Alberta, and the same confidentiality standards apply. If you plan to attend as a couple, ask your therapist how joint virtual sessions work. You can read more about online counselling.

Do we have to come together?

No. Some people prefer individual counselling, while others attend with a partner. Some start alone and invite a partner later. The format can be discussed with your clinician based on your goals.

Can counselling tell us what to do about fertility treatment?

No. Counselling does not give medical advice or make medical decisions. It can create space to clarify your values and questions, and how you talk about options with each other. Decisions about testing, medications, or procedures belong with your physician or fertility clinic.

What if my partner does not want to come?

You can still come on your own. Individual counselling can be a place to sort out what you want to say, how to raise it, and how you are coping. If your partner decides to join later, your therapist can talk with both of you about how that would work.

Meet Your Clinicians

Our team includes Registered Psychologists, Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Canadian Certified Counsellors, Mental Health Therapists, and Student Therapists. All psychologists are registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Registered Provisional Psychologists practise under the supervision of a senior registered psychologist. Registered Social Workers are regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW).

Each clinician's areas of focus are different. Profiles on Our Therapists describe each person's experience, including work with relationships, intimacy, or fertility-related concerns where that applies. The Match with a Therapist tool can help narrow your options, or you can call 780-904-4880 and the admin team can guide you.

Children and Youth

Some people who are trying to conceive are already parents, and may wonder how this period is affecting their children. Wholesome Psychology offers counselling for children, adolescents, and young people. Therapists who work with younger clients use age-appropriate approaches and work with caregivers to support the child's environment at home. You can learn more on our child and youth counselling page.

If You Would Like to Talk With Someone

You can take the next step whenever it feels right, in whichever way suits you:

• Book a session through our online booking system
• Use the Match with a Therapist tool
• Call the admin team at 780-904-4880
• Email info@wholesomepsychology.ca
• Read Getting Started with Therapy to see what the first steps look like

Starting the conversation is enough.

New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

References

• Canadian Mental Health Association. (n.d.). Service referral [PDF].
• Canadian Psychological Association. (n.d.). Relationship distress [PDF].
• The effect of infertility counseling interventions on marital and sexual satisfaction of infertile couples: A systematic review and meta-analysis. (n.d.). PubMed Central.
• National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (n.d.). Fertility problems: Assessment and treatment [PDF].
• Public Health Agency of Canada. (n.d.). Chapter 2: Preconception care. Government of Canada.
• Statistics Canada. (2024, January 31). Fertility in Canada, 1921 to 2022.