Counselling for the person doing the supporting, with room to think through your role, your limits, and your own reactions to a loss that may touch you too. Psychologists registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). Registered Psychologists, Provisional Psychologists, Social Workers regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW), Counsellors certified by the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA), and Student Therapists. In person in Edmonton and St. Albert, and virtual across Alberta.

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You Might Be Wondering Whether Counselling Makes Sense When the Loss Is Not Yours

You may be asking yourself whether you have any right to need support right now. Someone you care about has lost a parent, a partner, a child, or a friend, and next to that, your own strain can feel small. It might even feel selfish to look for help for yourself while they are going through something so much harder. That doubt is common for people in a supporting role, and it deserves a real answer rather than being brushed aside.

Maybe you lie awake replaying a conversation, wondering if you said the wrong thing. Maybe you have started letting their calls go to voicemail because you do not know what to say, and then feel guilty for staying away. Or you have been the steady one for weeks, handling meals, paperwork, and phone calls, without a moment to notice how tired you are. Some people are also carrying their own grief for the same loss and have set it aside to hold others up.

These reactions make sense. Being close to someone else's grief asks a lot of a person, both emotionally and practically. Feeling unsure, worn down, or even frustrated does not mean you are doing it badly or that you care less. People experience and express grief in different ways, and there is no single script that fits every person, family, culture, or loss.

If you are trying to work out whether talking with someone could help you in this role, the rest of this page explains what this kind of counselling involves, what it does not do, and how it works at Wholesome Psychology. You may also be reading on behalf of the person who is grieving. If so, the next section points to options for them as well.

Who We Help

This service may be a good fit if you are:

• supporting a grieving partner, spouse, friend, or family member
• a parent supporting a grieving child, teen, or adult child
• helping an aging parent or relative after the loss of a spouse or close friend
• a manager, colleague, coach, teacher, or faith or community leader supporting people after a loss
• grieving the same loss yourself while trying to be there for others
• supporting someone through a loss that is not a death, such as a serious diagnosis, a separation, or the loss of a role
• unsure what is actually helpful and wanting a place to think it through

If the person who is grieving would like support of their own, they may want to read about our grief and loss counselling. If the death was by suicide, our page on counselling after losing someone to suicide may be relevant. If the person you support is struggling with their mental health more broadly, see supporting someone's mental health.

This service may not be the right fit if:

• you or the person you support is in immediate danger or crisis. Please use the crisis resources below.
• you need a report or opinion for a legal matter, such as an estate dispute, insurance claim, or court process. Forensic and legal needs fall outside this counselling service. Psychological assessments are a separate service.
• you are hoping a clinician will assess, diagnose, or contact the grieving person. A clinician cannot assess someone who is not taking part in their own care.

If You Need Help Right Now

Wholesome Psychology does not provide emergency response through routine booking, email, or website messages. If you or the person you are supporting may be in danger, or you are worried that someone is thinking about ending their life, please contact one of these services:

• 911, or go to the nearest emergency department, if someone is in immediate danger
• Alberta Mental Health Help Line: 1-877-303-2642 (24/7, toll-free in Alberta)
• 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline: call or text 9-8-8 (24/7)

Wholesome Psychology is not an emergency or crisis service.

What This Service Is

This is counselling for you, the supporter. Sessions focus on your experience: what you are seeing, how it is affecting you, and how you want to show up for the person who is grieving. Sessions may include conversation about communication, practical support, boundaries, and your own wellbeing. If the loss is shared, you can also make room for your own grief.

It is not a way to assess or diagnose the grieving person. A clinician cannot assess someone who is not taking part in the appointment, and this counselling service does not include a psychological assessment of you or anyone else. Psychological assessments are offered as a separate service. Counselling is also not a legal service, an investigative process, or crisis intervention.

You set the pace. You decide what to talk about and how much detail to share, and you can change direction at any point. What you share is confidential within the limits described in the confidentiality and privacy section below. Your clinician works within the scope of their profession and training, and will tell you if something you need is better handled elsewhere, such as medical care or legal advice.

This page provides general information. It is not a substitute for emergency, medical, legal, or individualized clinical advice.

Signs That Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving May Be Affecting You

People in a supporting role often describe experiences like these:

• rehearsing what to say, then freezing or saying something you regret
• avoiding the person because you are afraid of making things worse
• a tiredness that sleep does not seem to fix after weeks of being the steady one
• putting your own grief on hold because theirs seems bigger
• feeling impatient or resentful, then guilty for feeling that way
• not knowing whether to check in more often or give them space
• tension in the family or at work when people grieve in different ways or on different timelines
• dreading an anniversary, holiday, or memorial on their behalf
• letting your own routines, health, or relationships slip

These are common reactions to being close to someone else's loss. Canadian guidance on pregnancy and infant loss notes, for example, that partners sometimes put their own grief on hold to support the other parent and handle practical tasks (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], 2020). Reactions like these do not mean something is wrong with you, and they are not permanent features of who you are. Counselling can offer a structured place to sort through them, so you can decide what you want to keep doing, what you want to change, and where your limits are.

How Treatment Works Here

• Find your therapist. Use the Match with a Therapist tool or browse Our Therapists to read clinician profiles. If you would rather talk it through with a person, our admin team can help at 780-904-4880.
• Book your first session. You can book online or by phone. In the first session, your clinician reviews informed consent, confidentiality and its limits, and how your information is handled. Then you talk about what brought you in and what you hope to get out of counselling.
• Build your plan together. You and your clinician agree on goals that fit your situation. For one person that might mean planning for a hard anniversary. For another, it might mean setting limits around caregiving without stepping away.
• Ongoing sessions. Sessions are 50 minutes. Most people meet weekly or every two weeks, and the schedule can be adjusted as things change.
• Progress check-ins. Your clinician checks in with you regularly about what is helping and what is not. The plan adapts as your needs change.

There is no fixed number of sessions. Counselling is collaborative, and your view of what is useful matters at every stage. You can read more about the process on our Getting Started with Therapy page.

Evidence and Approaches

The approaches below are the ones most relevant to supporting someone who is grieving. Research that tests counselling for supporters specifically is limited in the sources reviewed for this page, so each approach notes what the evidence does and does not show.

Supporter-Focused, Client-Centred Counselling

What it helps with: Making room for your own reactions, limits, and questions as someone supporting a grieving person.

Evidence summary: The Canadian Psychological Association describes grief as a normal response to loss rather than an illness (Canadian Psychological Association [CPA], 2025). This is one reason sessions focus on your role and choices instead of trying to treat or fix another person's grief.

Limitations: The sources reviewed for this page do not include studies that test counselling for supporters specifically. What helps varies from person to person.

Grief Education (Psychoeducation)

What it helps with: Understanding why grief can look so different from one person to the next, so that what you are seeing feels less confusing.

Evidence summary: CPA guidance notes that stage models of grief can be questioned, since not everyone moves through a set sequence, and that waves of grief can return around anniversaries as a normal part of grieving (CPA, 2025). Canadian public health guidance on perinatal loss also describes grief as unique to each person and shaped by culture and personality (PHAC, 2020).

Limitations: These are educational and guideline sources, not trials of grief education for supporters. The PHAC guidance focuses on pregnancy and infant loss.

Communication and Listening Skills

What it helps with: Thinking through how to listen, what to say, and when simply being present may be enough.

Evidence summary: PHAC guidance describes listening as a central part of supporting bereaved families, including being attentive, not interrupting, and waiting until the grieving person is ready before raising new topics (PHAC, 2020). Sessions may use ideas like these as a starting point, adapted to your relationship and setting.

Limitations: This guidance was written for health care providers caring for families after perinatal loss. How it applies to you depends on the person, the loss, your culture, and your relationship.

Virtual Counselling

What it helps with: Access to sessions from home or work anywhere in Alberta, which can suit supporters with little spare time.

Evidence summary: Online bereavement support is an active research area, and a 2025 rapid review examined online interventions for people who have been bereaved (Finucane et al., 2025). It is cited here as background only, not as a claim that online counselling works better or worse than meeting in person.

Limitations: The review concerns bereaved people, not supporters. Whether virtual or in-person sessions suit you better is a personal choice.

What Results to Expect

Change in counselling is rarely a straight line. Some people find relief from just 2-3 sessions, especially when they come in with a specific question, such as how to approach a conversation or plan for a difficult date. Others notice shifts over a few months. Some find longer-term work more useful, particularly when they are carrying their own grief or a heavy caregiving load.

Outcomes vary. They can depend on the nature of the loss, what else is happening in your life, the support around you, and the fit between you and your clinician. No form of counselling can guarantee a particular result, and counselling does not provide a guaranteed way to make grief easier for another person.

Fit matters. If a clinician or approach is not working for you, you can say so. Changing therapists or trying a different approach is always an option.

Confidentiality and Privacy

What you share in counselling is confidential. That includes what you share about the person you are supporting. You can use first names only, or no names at all.

Psychologists at Wholesome Psychology are regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP) and follow the Canadian Code of Ethics for Psychologists published by the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA). Other clinicians follow the standards of their own professional bodies.

Two Alberta privacy laws are relevant. The Personal Information Protection Act (PIPA) generally applies to private clinics like ours and sets rules for how personal information is collected, used, stored, and disclosed. The Health Information Act (HIA) applies to health custodians, such as Alberta Health Services, and to professionals working for them. Psychologists are not currently designated as custodians under the HIA, so in a private clinic, PIPA is usually the law that applies.

Confidentiality has limits. A clinician may need to share information without your consent when:

• there is a likely risk of serious and imminent harm to you or someone else
• there is a concern that a child is being abused or neglected, which Alberta law requires to be reported
• a court order or subpoena requires records
• another law requires disclosure

In these situations, only the information needed is shared. Your clinician will explain these limits in your first session. You are welcome to ask questions about privacy before you share anything personal, either in that session or by calling the admin team beforehand.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to describe the loss, or the grieving person's private details?

No. You decide how much to share. Some people focus on present-day questions, like how to handle a hard conversation this week, rather than going over what happened in detail. You can also keep details about the grieving person to a minimum to protect their privacy. If you are grieving too, you can go at whatever pace feels manageable.

Is what I share kept private?

Yes, within limits set by law and professional standards. Exceptions include a likely risk of serious harm to you or someone else, concerns about a child's safety, and court orders. Your clinician explains these limits in the first session, and the confidentiality and privacy section above has more detail.

How many sessions will I need?

There is no set number. Some people come for a few sessions to work through a specific concern. Others prefer ongoing support over months, for example during a long illness or the first year after a death. You and your clinician will review progress regularly and adjust the plan together.

What if the therapist is not the right fit?

Fit matters, and it is fine to say that a clinician is not right for you. Our admin team can help you find someone else at 780-904-4880, and the Match with a Therapist tool can suggest other options. New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

Can I have sessions online?

Yes. Virtual sessions are available to people located anywhere in Alberta. The same confidentiality standards apply to virtual and in-person sessions. You can read more about online counselling.

Can I come to counselling if the grieving person is not in therapy?

Yes. Sessions focus on your experience as a supporter, including communication, practical responsibilities, personal boundaries, and the effects of the loss on your own life. The clinician does not assess or diagnose the person who is not there.

Will counselling tell me exactly what to say?

No. There is no universal script. Some people choose to offer specific practical help, make space for conversation, or check in over time. Others find that quiet company, help with daily tasks, or respect for cultural, spiritual, or family practices fits better. Counselling can help you weigh these options in light of your relationship, your values, and your capacity.

Should the person I am supporting see a therapist too?

Not necessarily. CPA guidance describes grief as a normal response that usually does not need psychological treatment, while noting that professional help can be useful in some situations, such as when safety concerns arise or grief is not easing over a long period (CPA, 2025). Only a clinician working directly with that person can assess what they need. If they would like support of their own, our grief and loss counselling page is a place to start. If you are worried about their safety right now, please use the crisis resources above.

Meet Your Clinicians

Our team includes Registered Psychologists, Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Canadian Certified Counsellors, Mental Health Therapists, and Student Therapists. All psychologists are registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Provisional psychologists are regulated members who practise under the supervision of a fully registered psychologist while they complete their registration requirements. Registered Social Workers are regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW), and our Student Therapists are master's-level practicum students who offer reduced-rate counselling.

Training and focus areas vary by clinician. Individual profiles on Our Therapists describe each person's experience, including whether grief, loss, or family support is part of their work. If you are not sure where to start, the Match with a Therapist tool or a call to our admin team at 780-904-4880 can help narrow it down.

Children and Youth

Grief in a family often touches children and teens, whether they are grieving themselves or watching the adults around them grieve. PHAC guidance on perinatal loss notes that a child's response is shaped by their age, developmental stage, personality, and how the family is coping, and that children learn how to grieve from the adults around them (PHAC, 2020).

Wholesome Psychology offers counselling for children and youth, including adolescents and young adults. Clinicians who work with younger clients use age-appropriate approaches, such as play therapy for younger children, and work with parents and caregivers to support the child at home. If you are a parent supporting a grieving child, you can also come to sessions on your own to think through how to support them.

Taking a Next Step

If you would like to talk through what supporting this person is asking of you, you can take the next step in whichever way feels easiest:

• Book a session online
• Match with a therapist
• Call our admin team at 780-904-4880
• Email info@wholesomepsychology.ca
• Read Getting Started with Therapy

Starting the conversation is enough.

New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

References

• Canadian Psychological Association. (2025). Psychology Works fact sheet: Grief in adults.
• Finucane, A., Canny, A., Arcari Mair, A. P., Harrop, E., Selman, L. E., Swash, B., Wakefield, D., & Gillanders, D. (2025). A rapid review of the evidence for online interventions for bereavement support. Palliative Medicine. https://doi.org/10.1177/02692163241285101
• Public Health Agency of Canada. (2020). Chapter 7: Loss and grief. In Family-centred maternity and newborn care: National guidelines. https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/maternity-newborn-care-guidelines-chapter-7.html