Registered Psychologists regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). Registered Social Workers regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW), Canadian Certified Counsellors certified by the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA), Mental Health Therapists, and supervised Student Therapists. In person in Edmonton and St. Albert, and virtual across Alberta.

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You Might Be Wondering Whether Difficult People Counselling Is Right for You

You may be asking yourself whether stress from one person in your life is a good enough reason to talk to a counsellor. Maybe nothing dramatic has happened. Maybe you keep going back and forth on whether the problem is them, or whether you are overreacting. That doubt comes up often, and it can keep people quiet for a long time. Sometimes the signs are small and daily.

You might brace yourself when a certain name shows up on your phone. You might replay a conversation at night, working out what you should have said, or rehearse the next one before it happens. You might notice you have started giving in, going quiet, or changing plans just to keep things calm. These reactions make sense. When you spend a lot of energy managing someone else's moods, criticism, or unpredictability, your mind and body adjust to protect you.

Those adjustments are not a character flaw, and they do not mean something is permanently wrong with you. They reflect how hard you have been working to keep things steady. You may be reading this for yourself. You may also be reading because someone you care about is worn down by a relationship with a parent, partner, co-worker, or friend.

If you would like to see what this kind of counselling involves, and what it does not do, the sections below may be a useful starting point. Counselling that keeps the focus on you: how these interactions affect you, what matters to you, and what you want to do next.

Who This Counselling May Help

This service is for people dealing with stress from challenging interactions or relationships. The other person could be almost anyone in your life.

It may be a good fit if you:

• feel drained, tense, or on edge before or after contact with a partner, parent, sibling, in-law, friend, colleague, or manager
• keep having the same conflict and are not sure how to respond differently
• are unsure how much contact or involvement feels workable for you
• find it hard to set limits, or feel guilty when you try
• notice the strain spilling into your sleep, work, parenting, or other relationships
• are supporting someone else through a hard relationship and want help with the stress that comes with that role

If most of the strain comes from one setting, you may also find our pages on workplace stress counselling, family issues counselling, communication and negotiation, or relationship dependence useful.

It may not be the right fit if you:

• are in immediate danger or thinking about suicide. Please use the crisis resources below first.
• need a legal opinion, a court report, a parenting or custody evaluation, or a workplace investigation. These are outside this counselling service. Psychological assessments are a separate service and are not part of difficult people counselling.
• want a diagnosis of the other person. A therapist cannot diagnose someone they have not assessed.
• are mainly concerned about your own behaviour toward others, such as anger that has hurt people around you. Anger management counselling may be a better place to start.

Some readers are still in a relationship that involves threats, physical harm, control, or fear. If that is your situation, your safety comes first. Counselling can be one part of your support, alongside the services listed below. Our pages on abuse counselling and family violence counselling describe related services.

If You Need Help Right Now

Counselling is not an emergency service. If you are in danger or need urgent support, please contact one of these services:

• Call 911 if you or someone else is in immediate danger or needs urgent medical help (Government of Canada, n.d.).
• Call or text 988 if you or someone you know is thinking about suicide. It is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (Government of Canada, n.d.).
• Alberta Mental Health Help Line: 1-877-303-2642 (24/7)
• Family Violence Info Line (Alberta): 310-1818 (24/7, toll-free)

Wholesome Psychology is not an emergency or crisis service.

What Difficult People Counselling Is, and What It Is Not

Difficult people counselling is talk therapy for the stress that builds up around a hard relationship or a recurring interaction. "Difficult people" is an everyday phrase, not a clinical category. Here it describes your experience of an interaction. It is not a judgement or a diagnosis of the other person.

Sessions may explore the patterns that keep showing up, how you tend to respond, where your limits are, and how you would like to communicate. The work stays focused on what is within your control. Counselling does not aim to control or change another person, and it cannot guarantee a particular outcome in the relationship.

This counselling is not:

• a legal service, or an investigation into who is at fault
• crisis intervention (see the crisis resources above)
• a psychological assessment, which is offered as a separate service
• a place where you will be told to stay in or leave a relationship

You set the pace. You decide what to talk about and how much to share, and your therapist checks in with you about goals along the way. What you say is confidential within limits set by law and professional standards, and your therapist explains those limits at the start. Each clinician works within the scope of their training and professional regulation, and may suggest a referral if another service seems better suited to what you need.

Signs Stress From Difficult People May Be Affecting You

Stress from a hard relationship does not always feel like stress. People often describe it in more ordinary terms. You might recognize some of these patterns:

• bracing yourself before a phone call, a meeting, or a family visit
• replaying conversations long after they end, or rehearsing what you will say next time
• second-guessing your memory or judgement after a disagreement
• feeling tense, irritable, or flat after contact, even when the exchange seemed small
• going quiet or giving in to keep the peace, then feeling resentful later
• pulling back from friends or activities because you are worn out
• trouble sleeping, focusing at work, or being present with your family
• feeling unsure where your limits are, or guilty when you try to hold one

These are common reactions to ongoing strain. They are not permanent features of who you are, and having them does not mean you have a diagnosis. With structured support, some people find it easier to see the pattern clearly and decide what they want to do about it.

How Counselling Works Here

• Find your therapist. Use the Match Tool or browse our therapists' profiles to find someone whose focus fits. If you would rather talk it through, our admin team can help at 780-904-4880.
• Book your first session. In the first session, your therapist reviews consent and confidentiality, including its limits, and asks what you would like help with. It is also a chance to see whether the fit feels right to you.
• Build your plan together. You and your therapist agree on goals and a focus. That might be one relationship, a pattern across several, or a decision you are weighing.
• Ongoing sessions. Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly or every two weeks. The schedule can change as your needs change.
• Progress check-ins. Your therapist reviews how things are going with you and adjusts the plan when something is not working.

There is no fixed number of sessions. Counselling here is collaborative, and your view of what is helping matters at every stage. You can read more on our Getting Started with Therapy page.

Evidence and Approaches

We want to be clear about what the research behind this page can and cannot support. The sources reviewed for this page did not include treatment-outcome studies on stress from difficult relationships. For that reason, this page does not name specific therapy models or claim that one approach works best for this concern. Instead, it describes three focus areas that shape this counselling, and what the sources do and do not show.

A Client-Centred, Non-Diagnostic Focus

What it helps with: Keeping sessions centred on your experience of the relationship, not on labelling the other person.

Evidence summary: The ICD-11 classification lists personality disorders and related traits as formal diagnostic categories (World Health Organization [WHO], n.d.). The sources reviewed for this page do not support using those categories to label someone from a description of the relationship. Canadian public education material treats personality disorders as a topic that calls for careful, non-stigmatizing language (Canadian Mental Health Association Nova Scotia Division [CMHA Nova Scotia], n.d.).

Limitations: This is a scope principle, not a treatment finding, so it does not show how much counselling reduces stress. The Canadian source was only a short extract.

Patterns, Boundaries, and Communication

What it helps with: Looking at how interactions tend to unfold, how you respond, and how you might express your limits and needs.

Evidence summary: Interpersonal functioning is a subject of psychotherapy research, including a systematic review with meta-analyses of individual participant data (PubMed, n.d.). That review concerns people with borderline personality disorder, not people coping with someone else's behaviour. Only its title was available for this page, so none of its findings are applied here.

Limitations: Our sources contain no outcome evidence for boundary or communication work in this context. Any benefit depends on you, your situation, and the fit with your therapist.

Safety and Confidentiality From the First Session

What it helps with: Making sure counselling is the right level of support, and that you know how your information is handled before you share it.

Evidence summary: Government of Canada guidance directs people in immediate danger to call 911, and people thinking about suicide to call or text 988 (Government of Canada, n.d.). The standards of the College of Alberta Psychologists support explaining confidentiality and its limits at the start of services (College of Alberta Psychologists [CAP], n.d.).

Limitations: These sources describe safety guidance and professional obligations, not counselling outcomes. How confidentiality applies can vary with your circumstances and the law.

What Results to Expect

Progress with relationship stress is rarely a straight line. You might feel clearer after a session and then have a hard week after a tense visit or meeting. That is a normal part of the process, not a sign that counselling is failing.

Some people notice changes in how they feel or respond fairly early. Others find longer-term support more useful, especially when the relationship is ongoing. Outcomes vary, and they can depend on:

• how long the pattern has been going on, and how much contact you still have
• what else is happening in your life, including other stress and the support around you
• what you want from counselling, which may change over time
• the fit between you and your therapist

No form of counselling can guarantee a result, and counselling cannot change how another person behaves. If the fit with your therapist does not feel right, you can change therapists or try a different approach at any point.

Confidentiality and Privacy

What you share in counselling is confidential, with some limits that your therapist explains during consent (CAP, n.d.). Psychologists at Wholesome Psychology are regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists and follow its Standards of Practice. They also follow the Canadian Code of Ethics for Psychologists from the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA), which the College has adopted.

Two Alberta privacy laws are relevant. The Personal Information Protection Act (PIPA) generally governs how private clinics collect, use, and disclose personal information. The Health Information Act (HIA) applies to health custodians such as Alberta Health Services, and to clinicians working for them. Psychologists in private practice are not currently custodians under the HIA, so in a private clinic your information is generally protected under PIPA and professional standards.

Psychologists are required to safeguard client records and limit who can see them. Confidentiality does have limits. The exact limits depend on your situation and the law, but they include:

• a risk of serious and imminent harm to you or to someone else
• suspected abuse or neglect of a child, which must be reported under Alberta law
• a court order or another legal requirement to release information

Your therapist will go over these limits clearly in your first session. You are welcome to ask questions about privacy before you share anything personal. Virtual sessions follow the same confidentiality standards as in-person sessions.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to describe what happened in detail?

No. You decide what to share and when. You can start with what is happening now, such as a recent conversation, a pattern at work, or a decision you feel stuck on, rather than going back through every past event. Your therapist will follow your lead on pace.

Is what I share kept private?

Yes, within limits. What you say in counselling is confidential, except in situations such as a serious risk of harm, suspected abuse or neglect of a child, or a court order. Your therapist explains these limits in the first session. The Confidentiality and Privacy section above has more detail.

How many sessions will I need?

There is no set number. Some people want a few sessions to think through one situation or decision. Others prefer ongoing support while a relationship stays difficult. You and your therapist review progress regularly and can change the plan at any time.

What if my therapist is not the right fit?

Fit matters, and it is fine to say so. You can raise it with your therapist directly, or contact our admin team at 780-904-4880 for help finding a different clinician. New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

Can I have sessions online?

Yes. Virtual sessions are available anywhere in Alberta, and the same confidentiality standards apply as in person. You can learn more on our online counselling page.

Can counselling tell me whether the other person has a personality disorder?

No. It would not be appropriate for a therapist to diagnose someone they have not assessed. Labels like "narcissist" or "toxic" come up a lot online, and it is understandable to want a name for what you are dealing with. Counselling stays focused on what you are experiencing, how it affects you, and what you want to do about it.

Do I need to bring the other person to counselling?

No. Individual counselling focuses on your own experience and goals. If you are thinking about joint sessions, such as couples counselling or family sessions, a therapist can talk with you about whether that format suits the situation. Joint sessions need the consent of everyone involved.

Will my therapist tell me whether to stay in the relationship or leave?

No. That decision belongs to you. Counselling can give you a structured place to sort through your values, needs, worries, and options. If your situation feels unsafe, your therapist can also help you think through safety and other supports.

Meet Your Clinicians

Our team includes Registered Psychologists, Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Canadian Certified Counsellors, Mental Health Therapists, and Student Therapists. All psychologists are registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Registered Provisional Psychologists practise under the supervision of a senior registered psychologist.

Registered Social Workers are regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW). Student Therapists are master's-level practicum students who see clients as part of supervised training.

Therapist profiles can help you find someone whose focus fits what you are dealing with. You can browse Our Therapists, use the Match Tool, or call 780-904-4880 if you would like help choosing.

Support for Children and Teens

Children and teens deal with difficult people too. It might be a classmate who targets them, a coach or teacher they clash with, or tension at home. Wholesome Psychology offers counselling for children, adolescents, and young people, and therapists who work with younger clients use age-appropriate approaches.

Therapists also work with parents and caregivers to support the young person at home as well as in session. At the start, your therapist will explain how confidentiality works for a minor, since the law can place some limits on a young person's privacy from their guardians. Related pages include child and youth counselling, adolescent mental health, and bullying therapy.

If You Would Like to Take a Next Step

If you would like to talk with someone about the stress a relationship is causing you, here are a few ways to start:

• Book a session online
• Match with a therapist who fits your needs
• Call our admin team at 780-904-4880
• Email info@wholesomepsychology.ca
• Read Getting Started with Therapy to see what the first steps look like

You do not need the right words or a clear goal before you reach out. Starting the conversation is enough.

New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

References

• Canadian Mental Health Association Nova Scotia Division. (n.d.). Personality disorders.
• College of Alberta Psychologists. (n.d.). Standards of practice.
• Government of Canada. (n.d.). Mental health support: Get help.
• PubMed. (n.d.). Treatment modifiers of interpersonal functioning in psychotherapy for people with borderline personality disorder: Systematic review with meta-analyses of individual participant data.
• World Health Organization. (n.d.). ICD-11 for mortality and morbidity statistics.