A place for partners and co-parents to talk through how life with a new baby has changed your relationship, at a pace you set. Psychologists regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). In-person sessions in Edmonton and St. Albert. Virtual sessions across Alberta.

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You Might Be Wondering Whether Relationships After Birth Counselling Is Right for You

You may be wondering whether the strain between you and your partner is just part of having a baby. Maybe it will settle on its own once everyone is sleeping again. Or you may feel uneasy even thinking about your relationship right now, when a baby needs so much from both of you. It can be hard to tell whether what you are noticing is serious enough to talk to someone about.

Maybe you pass the baby back and forth like a shift change and realize you have not had a real conversation in days. Maybe you keep a quiet tally of who got up last night, and the tally has started to turn into resentment. Some people say they feel more like coworkers than partners. Others notice they snap over small things and barely recognize how they talk to each other.

These patterns make sense. A new baby can change routines, sleep, responsibilities, communication, and intimacy all at once. Partners may also adjust at different speeds and in different ways. Noticing strain does not mean your relationship is failing or that something is wrong with either of you. It may simply reflect how much has changed, and how quickly.

If you are trying to decide whether talking with someone could help, the sections below describe what this counselling involves, who it may suit, and what it costs. You may wish to read on and see whether any of it fits your situation.

Who We Help

This service is for people in many kinds of families. That includes married and unmarried partners, LGBTQ2S+ couples, blended and adoptive families, and parents who are separated or co-parenting from different homes.

Relationships after birth counselling may be a good fit if you:

• Feel less connected to your partner since the baby arrived and want to talk about it
• Keep having the same disagreement about chores, night feeds, money, or time
• Have different expectations about roles, work, or help from family
• Notice changes in affection, intimacy, or how you speak to each other
• Are becoming co-parents as well as partners and want to do that with more intention
• Are adjusting after a difficult birth, a medical change, or a baby with additional care needs
• Want space on your own to think about your relationship, even if your partner is not ready to attend
• Are reading this for someone else, such as a partner, an adult child, or a friend, and want to understand what support looks like

This service may not be the right fit if:

• You are in immediate danger or crisis. Please use the crisis resources below.
• You need a custody evaluation, a parenting assessment, or a report for court. Forensic and legal needs are outside this counselling service. Psychological assessments are a separate service.
• You are looking for help to stop using violence or control in a relationship. This service is not designed for that purpose. The Family Violence Info Line (310-1818) can share information about services in Alberta.
• Your main concern is physical recovery after birth. Medical questions are best directed to your physician, midwife, or public health nurse.

If there are current safety concerns, coercion, or control in your relationship, joint sessions may not be suitable. A clinician can talk with you about other support options, including individual sessions.

Crisis Guidance

Counselling is not emergency or crisis care. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, or you are worried about your safety at home, please contact one of these services:

• 911 for immediate danger, or go to the nearest emergency department
• Alberta Mental Health Help Line: 1-877-303-2642 (24/7)
• Family Violence Info Line (Alberta): 310-1818 (24/7, toll-free)
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741

Wholesome Psychology is not an emergency or crisis service.

What This Service Is

Relationships after birth counselling is talk-based support for the adult relationships that change when a baby arrives. Sessions offer space to explore communication, roles, connection, and shared priorities. You and your therapist decide the focus together.

Care after birth is its own area of health guidance in Canada and internationally (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], n.d.; National Institute for Health and Care Excellence [NICE], n.d.). This counselling focuses on one part of that picture: the relationship between the adults caring for the baby.

This service is not:

• A legal service or an investigative process
• Crisis intervention or emergency care
• Medical care
• A psychological assessment. This counselling does not include assessments, which are offered as a separate service.

You set the pace. You decide what to talk about and when, and you do not need to know in advance what you want for the future of your relationship. What you share is kept confidential within legal and ethical limits, which are explained in more detail below.

Each clinician works within the scope of their own training and professional regulation. Counselling cannot diagnose anyone through a web page, and this page is not personal advice. If a concern falls outside what this service offers, your therapist can talk with you about other options.

You may also find these related services useful: Couples Counselling, Birth & Postpartum Support, Transition Into Parenthood counselling, and Postpartum Mental Health counselling.

Signs the Changes After Birth May Be Affecting Your Relationship

You do not need a label to notice that something feels different. People often describe experiences like these:

• Feeling lonely in the relationship, even though you are rarely apart
• Resentment that builds around who does what, especially at night
• Replaying arguments, or rehearsing what you will say later
• Wondering whether things will ever go back to how they were
• Conversations that are mostly logistics: feeds, diapers, appointments
• Avoiding certain topics because they always turn into a fight
• Less affection or physical closeness, and not knowing how to bring it up
• Feeling tense or on edge around each other in a way that sleep alone does not seem to fix
• Feeling like a different person since becoming a parent, and unsure where the relationship fits now

These are understandable reactions to a period of big change. Having some of them does not mean something is permanently wrong with your relationship. Becoming parents can bring changes to the couple relationship, though not in the same way for everyone ("A Systematic Review and Meta-Synthesis," n.d.). Structured conversations with a therapist may support you in understanding what is happening between you and what each of you needs now.

How Treatment Works Here

• Find your therapist. Use the Match with a Therapist tool or browse our therapists' profiles. If you would rather talk it through, the admin team can help at 780-904-4880. It can help to mention whether you plan to attend alone, together, or as co-parents.
• Book your first session. You can book online through our booking system or by phone. In the first session, your therapist goes over consent and confidentiality, asks what brings you in, and talks with you about your goals. You can ask questions about the process before you share anything personal.
• Build your plan together. You and your therapist decide what to focus on, and whether individual, joint, or co-parenting-focused sessions make sense. The plan reflects your priorities.
• Ongoing sessions. Sessions are 50 minutes, usually weekly or every two weeks. The schedule can be adjusted as your needs change.
• Progress check-ins. Your therapist reviews with you how things are going. If something is not helping, the plan can change.

There is no fixed number of sessions. Therapy here is collaborative, and your view of what is useful matters at every stage. The Getting Started with Therapy page has more detail on what to expect.

Evidence and Approaches

The approaches below describe how sessions can be set up for relationship concerns after birth. Each one is summarized in three parts. The research available for this page is limited, so each summary says what the sources support and what they do not.

Joint Sessions for Partners

What it helps with: Talking through changes in communication, roles, chores, and closeness together, with a therapist helping keep the conversation steady.

Evidence summary: A systematic review and meta-synthesis has examined how becoming parents affects the couple relationship ("A Systematic Review and Meta-Synthesis," n.d.). The safe conclusion is modest: the transition to parenthood can change a couple's relationship, though not in the same way for everyone. The Canadian Psychological Association (CPA) also publishes public education material on relationship distress (CPA, 2021).

Limitations: The research cited here does not measure how well joint counselling works after birth, so this page makes no effectiveness claim. Joint sessions may not be suitable where there are safety concerns, coercion, or control.

Individual Sessions

What it helps with: Giving one person space to sort through their own reactions, needs, and priorities after birth, whether or not a partner takes part.

Evidence summary: Because becoming parents can bring changes to the couple relationship ("A Systematic Review and Meta-Synthesis," n.d.), one partner may want support before joint work, or instead of it. Partners may also hold different expectations or respond to the transition differently, and individual sessions make room to explore that.

Limitations: None of the sources cited on this page compare individual and joint formats. Individual sessions focus on your own experience and cannot account for how another person will respond.

Co-Parenting-Focused Sessions

What it helps with: Coordinating care, routines, and decisions between parents who may or may not be together as a couple, including separated and blended families.

Evidence summary: Canadian and international health bodies publish dedicated guidance on care after birth (PHAC, n.d.; NICE, n.d.). The relationship research cited on this page looks at the couple relationship ("A Systematic Review and Meta-Synthesis," n.d.) and does not specifically address co-parents living apart.

Limitations: This page makes no claim about how well co-parenting-focused counselling works, and outcomes vary. These sessions are not mediation and do not produce reports for court.

What Results to Expect

Change in a relationship rarely moves in a straight line. A few good weeks can be followed by a hard night or a new pressure that brings old patterns back. That does not mean counselling has stopped working.

Some people notice shifts within a few months. Others find it useful to keep working over a longer period, especially when several pressures are present at once. What happens for you may depend on:

• What you are each dealing with right now, such as sleep, work, health, or support from family
• The nature of the experiences that brought you in, including how the birth went
• Whether one or both of you take part
• How comfortable you feel with your therapist

No therapy can guarantee an outcome. That includes better communication, renewed intimacy, or any particular decision about the relationship. The fit between you and your therapist matters, and you can ask to change therapists or try a different approach at any point.

Confidentiality and Privacy

What you share in counselling is handled confidentially, within legal and ethical limits that your therapist will review with you in the first session. You are welcome to ask about these limits before you share anything personal.

Psychologists at Wholesome Psychology are regulated by the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP) and follow the Canadian Psychological Association (CPA) Canadian Code of Ethics for Psychologists. Other clinicians follow the standards of their own professional bodies.

Two Alberta privacy laws are relevant. The Personal Information Protection Act (PIPA) generally governs how private clinics collect, use, and disclose personal information, and consent is central to it. The Health Information Act (HIA) governs health information held by custodians in Alberta's health system and people working on their behalf, so it may apply in some situations.

There are legal exceptions to confidentiality. A therapist may need to share information without your consent when:

• There is a risk of serious harm to you or to someone else
• A child may be experiencing abuse or neglect (reporting is mandatory under Alberta law)
• A court order requires it

If you attend joint sessions, your therapist will explain how information shared by each person is handled. Virtual sessions follow the same confidentiality standards as in-person sessions.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to go over everything that has happened, including the birth or our worst arguments?

No. You decide what to share and when. You can start with what is happening now, such as how evenings go or how decisions get made, rather than revisiting every past argument. If the birth itself was hard and you want to talk about it, you can do that at your own pace. Our difficult birth recovery counselling page describes that kind of support.

Is what I share kept private?

Yes, within legal and ethical limits. Exceptions include a risk of serious harm, suspected abuse or neglect of a child, and a court order. Your therapist will go over these limits in your first session. The confidentiality section above explains how Alberta's privacy laws apply.

How many sessions will we need?

There is no set number. Some people find a short series of sessions useful, while others prefer longer-term work. Your therapist will review progress with you regularly, and you can change the pace or pause when it makes sense.

What if the therapist is not the right fit?

Fit matters, and it is reasonable to want a different therapist. The admin team can help you find another clinician whose approach suits you better. New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

Can we do sessions online?

Yes. Virtual sessions are available across Alberta, which can be practical when leaving home with a baby is hard. The same confidentiality standards apply. You can read more about online counselling.

Do both partners need to attend?

Not necessarily. Some people choose joint sessions, while others begin on their own. Joint sessions are not the right format for every concern, so a therapist can talk with you about what fits your circumstances and goals.

What if I do not feel safe with my partner?

Your safety comes first. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The Family Violence Info Line (310-1818) is available 24/7 across Alberta. When there are safety concerns, coercion, or control in a relationship, joint sessions may not be suitable. Individual support may be an option, and our family violence counselling page describes that service.

Can we talk about intimacy and sex after birth?

Yes. If intimacy is part of your goals, counselling can offer a respectful space to talk about connection, expectations, comfort, and consent. It may support conversations about communication and intimacy, at a pace that works for both of you. See also sexuality and intimacy therapy.

Meet Your Clinicians

Wholesome Psychology's team includes Registered Psychologists, Registered Provisional Psychologists, Registered Social Workers, Certified Canadian Counsellors, Mental Health Therapists, and Student Therapists. All psychologists are registered with the College of Alberta Psychologists (CAP). Registered Provisional Psychologists practise under the supervision of a senior registered psychologist. Registered Social Workers are regulated by the Alberta College of Social Workers (ACSW).

Clinicians' training and areas of focus vary. Individual profiles on the Our Therapists page describe each clinician's experience, including work with couples, new parents, and families. The Match with a Therapist tool can help you narrow your options, or you can call the admin team at 780-904-4880 for guidance.

Children and Youth

This page focuses on the adult relationship. If older children in the family are also adjusting to a new sibling, Wholesome Psychology offers counselling for children, adolescents, and young people. Therapists who work with younger clients use age-appropriate approaches and work with caregivers to support the child at home. You can learn more on our child and youth counselling page or our bonding with your child page.

Exploring Your Next Step

If you would like to explore whether this kind of support fits your family, you can:

• Book a session online
• Use the Match with a Therapist tool
• Call the admin team at 780-904-4880
• Email info@wholesomepsychology.ca
• Read Getting Started with Therapy

Starting the conversation is enough.

New clients may access their first session at 50% off to help find the right therapeutic fit.

References

• A systematic review and meta-synthesis of the impact of becoming parents on the couple relationship. (n.d.).
• Canadian Psychological Association. (2021). Relationship distress.
• National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (n.d.). Postnatal care.
• Public Health Agency of Canada. (n.d.). Chapter 5: Postpartum care. Government of Canada.